Our Many Gifts

Oh my gosh! I find myself in a different dimension. I see better now than ever that we live in a day to day matrix called nature that gives us the appearance of "life". Hashem gives us the gift of thought and consciousness to experience this life. We wind up thinking that our thoughts are an accurate description of reality and that what appears to us through our eyes is also an accurate description of reality. We only experience the outer dimension of life not the inner soul and therefore our initial glance (of what we think is truth and reality) has a layer of illusion. But how could we see anything else? Our thoughts come into us, we own them immediately, they are real to us and that is our reality. 

The true truth is that once Adam and Chava ate from the aitz Hadas tov v Rah (the tree of knowledge of good and evil)- our inner world is totally compromised and skewed. The dimension of our physicality is on a moment to moment basis driven by comfort, negative proclivities, bad character traits etc and they filter everything we see. I sued to think when the boys were fighting about something and each one blamed the others that one of them had to be lying and one of them was telling the truth. It now seems to be that it is extremely difficult to see something in any other way than the innocent vantage point that appears in your head (your thoughts). Using our great intelligent mind will sometimes only cloud how things appear to you as it is often usurped to rationalize and justify why you are right and good and feeling the way you do. Gosh what a trap! We are not one and the same as our thoughts - We are.......... not our thoughts. We all have infinite wisdom that lies deep within us beyond our intellect and mind. Although Denise and Shoshie have been operating from that place of reflecting the divine light that lies beyond without effort (even without consciousness), we can also avoid the trap of illusion. 

The gift we have is our free will consciousness that allows us to notice that we have thoughts in the first place, and that our thoughts come from the divine itself and that our thoughts are possibly contaminated in some way. Just like it is impossible to stop Kobe Bryant from taking a jump shot (all he needs is the tiniest of space) so too our free will consciousnesses can create the tiniest space between ourselves and our thoughts and that can make all the difference in the world. A moment glance at one of our thoughts particularly if that thought looks scary or upsetting to us can be allowed to run the course that millions of your thoughts do..... they come and they go. Don't fuel the thought - notice it like the weather channel in the back ground on the kitchen T.V as you make dinner. That space you take....itself brings you to a higher state of consciousnesses and breaks the power of the negative thought.

We have read about my wife Denise and her incredible ability to think of others at a time where it would be justified to be completely self absorbed. She is operating from a place that is beyond her mind, thinking and intelligence. She has no ego standing in the way. No need for self importance, approval, validation, affirmation, recognition and honor. It appears tome that this is it. "I" and "Hashem" cannot stand in the same place. It's either him or I but not both. Our entire existence is a mere vehicle for the reflection of the light above. Let's all of us shine.

I am sorry if this doesn't make sense I started writing at 4:00 a.m. a stream of consciousness, no organization of thoughts, no proof-reading- this is how I am dealing. I am profoundly sad. Devastated. You all know how much I have loved you. I loved Shoshie more. I'd like to say more another time about what life is like for me beyond the curtain. Let us all join our hearts and souls and collectively beseech Hashem to bring Moshiach and let no-one know the Tzar we feel. We are comforted though by love and friendship -thank Gd.