Letting down our hair at home! Should We? Part 1

I was at an engagement party recently where the Groom’s little brother –maybe 14-15 got up to speak and spoke glowingly about his older brother –Yoel-who was getting married. I was waiting for the sarcasm but it never came.

He spoke about his brother’s integrity – my brother says what he means –means what he says, he has an incredible upbeat positive attitude in the face of all his challenges – and Yoel looks at the glass as half full, has a can-do attitude and is always there to help me when I need him

No smirk – No back-handed joke under-cutting the message – I mean he was serious. There wasn’t any mention that Yoel takes his t-shirts – uses his stuff without asking-or takes the last crisply cream donuts in the house. You could genuinely tell that his brother was – well –his role model –his hero if you will –footsteps to follow in

Wow – I was thinking -Doesn’t Yoel come home and let his hair down – isn’t that the last place he should feel “on”. Isn’t home the one place where you can just be yourself and not to conform to your boss’s expectations or the demands of your prospective customers –or your best behavior for your teachers- University teachers. Like take off the suit – walk around in your next to nothing outfit – let a little gas out-scratch an arm pit-eat with your hands- burp –whatever. I’m finally home- I can do what the heck I want –time for all of you to leave me alone. I’m now off duty – I want little or none obligations, responsibilities,

I mean home is usually the place for burping contests, parading around in your underwear,  – telling inappropriate jokes, looking at magazines that you wouldn’t be caught looking at the grocery line, and most common the place to speak about other people

Home is where I don’t have to play up to expectations about how I am supposed to dress, talk, do, eat, etc, etc-at least until the next day at work or school where protocol and real consequences of life are on the line

Home is where the people who care about me most-they “can” reasonably understand what a stressful life I have, what I go through, the day to day challenges-surely they can understand that I just need time to be myself. Home is where I can be myself! Right?

So if this is all the case –then how in the world does Uri get up and praise his older brother as if he is not one of the top 50 most influential people in America but #1 or maybe 2 besides his father.