Nothing is more painful than when our kids fight - Jewish Unity -

Nothing is more painful than when our kids fight - Jewish Unity -           What happens after Tish b av is the measure!

The 3 weeks have come and gone -so too Tish b av. Unfortunately all too often the talk about Jewish Unity. Intuitively though we all understand that this is the tikun (fixing of ourselves) that must be done to bring redemption to ourselves and the world.

As a parent there is almost nothing more disconcerting than when our children fight. We obligate our kids naturally all the time "you have to love your sister" - they mumble something back about hate - "I don't care if you hate your sister you have to love her" - We have a subconscious understanding that peace and love between children is UN-negotiable. We are out of sorts until peace has been restored to our home.

Can you imagine that your kids are in the middle whining, fighting, screeching, crying,calling each other names..... , they are being self-centered, egoistic, selfish.... and not being helpful, charitable, respectful, accepting and loving to one another... and somehow, somewhere in the middle of all of this -they see a commercial as they pass by a T.V and become enchanted with the latest info-commercial selling something that immediately grabs their attention and fancy. They turn to you and say " Mommy/Daddy can we have that"?   (ignoring everything that is and has been going on)

You are like "are you kidding me" - it just doesn't work that way - First, you guys have to apologize, address what has been going on here, acknowledge what you have been doing - Of course I want to give you everything in the world, of course I want to make you happy, of course I love you but first things are first. As long as you both are fighting, name-calling etc etc -you are getting nothing. "Is this how I raised you"? "This is how you behave"?I'm a little disgusted. Take some responsibility for your actions and then we will see.

G-d wants to give us everything - he is waiting for us...... how we do together is the key to God's showering us with everything we want - all of our hopes and dreams.

Now that Tish b Av is over-let's not forget about the importance of Jewish Unity - It starts with ourselves and how we treat one another.

It is no big Mitzvah to be so judgmental, harsh in criticism of any Jew or Jewish group within the Jewish people. Don't be so quick to form an opinion and condemn. Don't be so quick to find advocates for your position. Go out of your way to understand and enumerate the position that you find so distasteful. Even those people who are in favor of exemptions of Army service for those who are learning Torah, even those who are against the Women of the Wall.

All I am saying is that the measure of each one of us, the measure upon which that Hashem will give us bounty how we treat each other, seek peace with one another and give each other the benefit of the doubt.

Don't subconsciously seek popular discord. Remember it's hard to ask your parents for something when you are in the middle of fighting. Let's make it easier for God to answer our prayers.