Today is my father's Yahrzeit! Here's an amazing story that will make you smile and cry. It illustrates who my father was and where you can that Shoshie came from!

This is an amazing story that happened on this day 15 years ago. It starts with sharing with you an incident that happened in our family starting 30 years ago. We had a housekeeper, her name was Viola. She resembled all the classic stereo-types of an African America. She was uneducated, illiterate but in-arguably helped to make me who I am.

One day in the mid 80's - my father who had been having difficulty in business went to Viola to relive her of her duties. He couldn't afford to pay her any more. This was so difficult to do. She was part of our family for many years. She even slept over much of the time even-though she had her own family. So my father said to Viola " I'm sorry that I have to tell you that we can't afford to pay you any more and we have to let you go". Viola stood there the most puzzled look on her face. "Mr Stern you think I come here for the money? You think this is "my job and that's why I come?"- You don't have to pay me for me to come in!
"I'm family" - I appreciate that you give me money but that is not why I come? Wow! Viola came in cleaned the whole house without getting paid week after week.

Flash forward 20 years. One day Viola who was getting very old at this point approached my father and said "Mr Stern, I can't get up and down the stairs any more, my eye sight is going, I just don't have the energy any more, you just have to find yourself another girl. She was actually stepping aside, - She couldn't do it properly so she just said that if she can't do it properly then she isn't going to take the money. My father looked at her incredulously, remembering what had happened 20 years ago as if it was yesterday. "You think we have you here because we need the house cleaned well? That we have you here because we look at you as a house keeper? "You are family" - you aren't going anywhere. We are going to hire another lady to clean the house and you will manage her". "You are no longer the person who cleans, you are the person who manages our house - the house manager - Please make sure that the other girl cleans the house well-you know how we like it.

Growing up - we didn't see color. We didn't see differences in how big your house was, how wealthy, what you father didn't for a living, what country club the family belonged to, how educated you were or not, where you went to scho0l, what car you drive, etc etc

During the Shiva the following people came - the person who....
1) Cleans our pool
2) The UPS guy
3) The exterminator
4) The one who fixes the A.C
5) The check out lady at the Kosher supermarket

Shoshie was friends with you no matter:
How observant, where you lived, how pretty, how popular, where you went to school, camp etc etc

Don't get caught at the jug rather look inside. The jug is the external appearance, being attracted and going for that makes us feel illusionary good about ourselves. Look beyond the jug - the external to the real inside- the beauty in each other.

May we all see people for who they truly are and not something about them that makes us feel good about ourselves - Look people for who they are-see their virtues

May we all improve in this area and be an aliyah to my father's Soul.

Dad you made me who I am. When people say nice things about me, i always think you should have meant my father , then you would have understood what nice, loving, kind and generous is
May this also be an aliyah to shoshie's Neshama who followed in the family's footsteps